:: s t i l l ::

Listening: Jack Off Jill - Love Song (3:34)
Mood: Madly happy

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

You poke me. You broke me. You tore me apart, in allmost every conceivable way.

You crushed my expectations. You killed my dreams awake. You ripped my hope and lighted on fire my fears. You destroyed me and still, I'm here. I still remain.

I hate you so much, sometimes, that I canot understand how can I, sometimes, I still care. I held you dear... amongst the dearest things on my life. I cared deeply for you. For what you do, for what you live through, for your pain and your loses. And now I know how I feel and I'm not telling.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

You hurted me, again and again and again. And still, I am here.

I'm not waiting anymore. I'll have no more futile expectations for you, or me or us. For what it was I know it won't be again. And even if I don't have regrets, I can still blame you for what you did to me.

Besides breaking my self, you changed who I was. I can't go back and take away your pain or mine. I don't even care to inflict upon you what you made me feel. What you made me go through.

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you

I wish I could say that I'll always love you...

But I'm over suffering you. I won't put on hold my life just because someday, something could happend. I can not trust you. Believe it. You're not trust worthy. I believe you never were, but then, there was me, telling myself you were.

You were perfect, for me... in my mind.

You were right. I didn't grasped all the conflict you were meant to be for me. All the pain, and the suffering and the rotten ill comments you left behind. I hoped for you the best and that's hypocrite. Right now, I hope you choke on the bed you made, on the lies you tell, on the false expectations you created.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

I hope, I really hope, you wake up someday and see what you put me through, in you coward ways and self redeeming lies. I hope you live to regret the day you pushed me back, away in a dozen different ways from you. I'm not cheating myself, I hate you and in a twisted sick way, I still care for you. And I'm working on that. I'll care for you, when your worthy of it, and not because a deluded me wants to believe in you.

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you

© aislingSgrios

+Again, in madly joy....+